Change of Face

Each day as I stumble on

rolling to the next

I wonder how I have become

this dark and grieving mess.

And when before I saw the face

of God, my heart’s desire

I knew that I could not replace

his searing heart of fire.

It haunts me now as minutes pass,

I wonder what I’ve missed

that caused him to depart from me

and seal my faithlessness.

Why do I then forget to trust

and fail to so believe

a God that loves without bounds

and pours his grace on me.

What is wrong within my mind

that tangles up the truth?

It keeps me from a full surrender

and breaks me from his view.

What do I need to truly change

to worship evermore

his pure and perfect lovely face

that makes me his reborn?

Of Muse and Mystery

My muse, where have you run off to?

Where did you go from me?

If you wanted to depart,

I would have let you leave.

But the heavens did decide

to make you run away,

and my settling redeemer

brought new life to me.

It wasn’t that I so disliked

you, muse of mythic grief,

but the pull of my heart retreated

to a different kind of pain.

I now recall what I gave up

to start this journey long,

and now my fear has increased more,

but I am too far gone.

Yet hope continues time again

to give me gentle eyes,

and bid me follow a little further

into the new domain.

This mystery I now pursue

though it punishes my flesh,

and I do not believe my muse

would wish me any less,

for greatly has my spirit thrived

within this blind escape,

and maybe on one quiet day

will appear the thing I seek.

And all the torture I have born

will not have been in vain.

Alas, the sunrise in my heart

will burst it at the seams.

A Word About Skepticism

Many Biblical apologists and philosophers are heavily concerned with how they can logically explain “knowing” the truth of Christianity. It seems that either by explaining probability principles or Platinga’s “warrant” explanation, there is never a 100 percent certainty behind it. Of course, I believe with deeper study of epistemology, it’s pretty clear that there is absolutely never 100 percent certain of anything, including whether or not that chair you are sitting in really exists.

Since it is not terribly easy to get a simple, clear definition of “skepticism” from an online dictionary of philosophy (big surprise), I will simply tell you the basics. Skepticism is basically a universal doubt of just about anything the skeptic wants. In other words, whether the skeptic is dealing with religion, epistemology, existentialism, or anything else, he is always the one on the doubting side: religion isn’t true, epistemology can’t be known, and existentialism doesn’t exist.

My main argument for my previous assertion that there is no 100 percent to the human mind is this: you cannot with 100 percent certainty state that your brain is not being manipulated by a mad scientist in a lab to stimulate the impulses you feel throughout everyday life, giving you the perceived reality that you are walking and talking and feeling.  The reason you could not make this claim is because it would be impossible for you to know that this was what your reality actually was. Therefore, it cannot be 100 percent certain, because it is impossible to prove against. If you cannot prove that your world exists, then you cannot prove that anything in it exists, so you cannot prove that anything is true, because it could be untrue outside of the perceived reality. This may be somewhat insufficient for some to accept, but I will continue anyway, as my point has been made: you cannot 100 percent know anything.

I might go so far as to say that this is Biblically acceptable also. God, being who He is, can of course know 100 percent, because he is omniscient. And we, being desperately depraved, cannot even see our own sinfulness (save by the grace of God), let alone see truth. I think that our depravity is a sort of veil that comes between us and 100 percent knowledge.

So if this is true, if 100 percent knowledge is impossible for the human mind to attain, how does this fit into our relationship with God? If we cannot be 100 percent certain of Him, how do we believe in Him and know Him personally? Well, for one, since I don’t “know” that my brother exists, does that mean I can’t have a relationship with him? Of course, it is beyond obvious that he probably exists, just not certainly. Many would argue that this probability factor is what actually defines knowledge, since certainty can’t. Back to the point: not being sure of existence doesn’t prohibit the living out of it. A second factor that this can contribute to is that it causes those who are already believers to more fully trust Him. After all, if nobody knows anything, we have to really on the only possible One who does. For me, it increases my faith in the Sustainer, that He knows the unknowable, and reinforces the very evident need for a transcendent God, the underlying reality of all other realities.

“Deeper Lost”

Can my thoughts delve deeper still

to those of poetical merit?

For this deep place I am needing to tell

(despite what hope abets),

a loyalty will to Sheol fall.

A rhyme, a haunting music’s tone

to find the subterranean treasure –

a perfect, selfless touch of love

beyond our passion’s measure,

searing down into the bone.

Though hope is all but sadly lost

as I in dark caves wander.

And know that this is no great cost,

for a chance to seal my wonder,

but the edge with cracks is fraught.

Whatever it takes, I swear to go,

for you to love me more.

Not that by my efforts grow

true love. It only dwells here for

what first in red rivers flows.

But I say this for the reason thus:

the truth is clearly spoken.

The fallen realms will soon collapse.

And where I have sworn to be broken

I’ve already for long been lost.

Reasons for the “Fallen Angel” Interpretation

“1. When man began to multiply on the face of the land and daughters were born to them, 2. the sons of God saw that the daughters of man were attractive. And they took as their wives any they chose. 3. Then the LORD said, “My Spirit shall not abide in[a] man forever, for he is flesh: his days shall be 120 years.” 4. The Nephilim were on the earth in those days, and also afterward, when the sons of God came in to the daughters of man and they bore children to them. These were the mighty men who were of old, the men of renown.” (Gen. 6:1-4)

There are two prevailing views that explain away this passage. The first is the “Sons of Seth” interpretation. This essentially says that the term “sons of God” means the sons of Seth, who were apparently the righteous descendants of Adam’s son, Seth. They fell into sin, after being seduced by the attractive daughters of men (which is supposedly a fancy term for “women”), and bore children who happened to be dominating heroes that became quite famous in those days.

The other interpretation (the “Fallen Angels”) says that the “sons of God” were angels in heaven who laid eyes on the women  of the earth, and sinned against God by descending onto the earth and breeding with them. They then bore half-supernatural offspring who were pretty powerful blokes, perhaps inherently damned for hell (but that is the shakiest claim in this speculation).

Now, rather than giving a formal defense on my position, I’m only going to present reasons why I believe the “Fallen Angel” interpretation, because at the moment, I am simply not in the mood to pull apart and argue against every possible objection.

1. The interpretation traditionally stems from the pseudopigraphal book known as I Enoch, which gives a notably elaborate account of the entire situation. This book is attributed to Enoch, the seventh descendant of Adam, who walked with God (Gen. 5:22). In Jude 1:14, the writer says, “It was also about these that Enoch, the seventh from Adam, prophesied, saying, “Behold, the Lord comes with ten thousands of his holy ones,” and in all fairness, this refers to the last days. But it is generally believed that here, Jude is referring to the book of I Enoch, for it was a widely read book at the time, and it does, in fact, prophesy of the last days. In conclusion, Jude apparently thought that the book of Enoch was worth some value in order to site is as a Jewish/Christian prophecy, so perhaps the rest of the book is valuable for other information.

2.  The only other time in the Old Testament that uses the exact phrase “sons of God” is in the book of Job. And I believe it is pretty well determined that these passages are referring to angels. (Job 1:6, 2:1, 38:7)

3. Is it mere coincidence that the gods of ancient Greece and Rome (and I’m sure others) were promiscuous human-like gods with super-human power? I admit it may be a little bit of a stretch, but I still think there might be something to this. Check out http://www.theoi.com/Gigante/GigantePolyphemos.html and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orion_(mythology) . I mean, do they fit the description even a little? Every legend originates somewhere.

These are the main reasons why I think it can be quite a relevant suggestion. Whether or not it would be possible for a supernatural being to breed with a human, or if God would allow his angels to fall after Lucifer’s charade, are both irrelevant, for angeology and demonology are both pretty obscure topics in the Bible. And to say that bizarre supernaturalism just isn’t God’s “style” is putting quite a limit on the transcendent Creator of the universe, who turned a flooded altar of massive stones into a tiny heap of dust, torched by a mighty fire from heaven, just to show that He was a little more capable than everyone else.

To Start Off….

Well, I guess because I have this deep-rooted need to explain everything I do, I’ll briefly explain why I thought it would be beneficial to start a blog. All I am going for is the hope that the few family and friends who may want to read these posts will get some form of encouragement or edification from it. Most of what I plan on discussing is related to theology, philosophy, poetry, or just trivial questions with life. As I progress in my relationship with Christ, it often seems to bring more questions than answers, and I feel that it might be helpful to me and the reader, if I simply quantify my scattered brain into reasonable explanations and arguments. Feel free to challenge me on anything that I write; trust me, I appreciate it more than any half-hearted effort for sappy compliments (even though, unlike facebook, the only people reading these won’t do that). Unless you’re Caleb, in which case I won’t be able to tell what you mean, because it probably won’t make the least amount of sense. So these are my intentions, and I hope it works.